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Ambrose Bierce
American author and journalist; b. 1842; d. 1913
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Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist
1–20 (29) > >> · Submit an Aphorism
# · Not So Good (42 ratings) · submitted 1997 (updated 1999)
Education: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the fool their lack of understanding.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Wisdom and Ignorance
The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)# · Not So Good (31 ratings) · submitted 1997 (updated 1999)
Riot: A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in War and Peace
# · Not So Good (42 ratings) · submitted 1997 (updated 1999)
Cannon: An instrument used in the rectification of national boundaries.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in War and Peace
# · Not So Good (47 ratings) · submitted 1997 (updated 1999)
Alliance: In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted into each others' pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Law and Politics and War and Peace
# · Not So Good (25 ratings) · submitted 1997 (updated 1999)
Misfortune: The kind of fortune that never misses.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Success and Failure
# · Not So Good (173 ratings) · submitted 1997 (updated 1999)
Pray: To ask that the laws of the universe be nullified on behalf of a single petitioner, admittedly unworthy.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Science and Religion
# · Not So Good (44 ratings) · submitted 1997 (updated 1999)
Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Science and Religion
# · Not So Good (41 ratings) · submitted 1997 (updated 1999)
Love: A temporary insanity cureable either by marriage or by removal of the influences under which he incurred the disorder. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than the patient.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Love and Hate
# · Not So Good (84 ratings) · submitted 1997 (updated 1999)
Hatred: A sentiment appropriate to the occasion of another's superiority.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Love and Hate and Success and Failure
# · Not So Good (46 ratings) · submitted 1997 (updated 1999)
Happiness: An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Love and Hate and Success and Failure
# · Not So Good (46 ratings) · submitted 1997 (updated 1999)
Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Health and Disease and Life and Death
# · Not So Good (43 ratings) · submitted 1997 (updated 1999)
Beauty: That power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Life and Death and Men and Women
# · Not So Good (27 ratings) · submitted 1997 (updated 1999)
Vote: The instrument and symbol of a free man's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Law and Politics
# · Not So Good (45 ratings) · submitted 1997 (updated 1999)
Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism
# · Not So Good (57 ratings) · submitted 1997 (updated 1999)
Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism
# · Not So Good (40 ratings) · submitted 1997 (updated 1999)
Egoist: A person of low taste, more interested in themselves than in me.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism
# · Not So Good (49 ratings) · submitted 1997 (updated 1999)
Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism
# · Not So Good (29 ratings) · submitted 1997 (updated 1999)
Accuse: To affirm another's guilt or unworth; most commonly as a justification of ourselves for having wronged them.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Law and Politics
# · Not So Good (41 ratings) · submitted 1997 (updated 1999)
Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Wealth and Poverty
# · Not So Good (28 ratings) · submitted 1997
Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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