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Submissions

These aphorisms have been submitted by users but are not (yet) included in the official collection.

<< < 101–120 (1613) > >>  ·  Submit a New Aphorism

#  ·  ---- Unrated  ·  submitted Mar '07

The good news: there are no longer more of them than there are of us.

The bad news: there are now more of us than there are of us.

John Alejandro King, - 'Black Matters' (www.covertcomic.com)

Edit#  ·  ---- Unrated  ·  submitted Mar '07

Common sense is the ability to spontaneously create new knowledge using only existing knowledge.

Matthew D. Burrows, Long Beach, CA

#  ·  ---- Unrated  ·  submitted Mar '07

Have you ever been walking along, and suddenly the toe of your shoe catches on the ground and you almost trip and fall on your face?

No?

... Good, me neither (I was just checking).

John Alejandro King, 'The Covert Comic', www.covertcomic.com

#  ·  ---- Unrated  ·  submitted Mar '07

Secret #37.6691. If a secret message doesn't self-destruct before you read it, it probably isn't worth your time.

The Covert Comic @ www.covertcomic.com, from 'My War On Terror!'

#  ·  ---- Unrated  ·  submitted Mar '07

To laugh at life isn't so hard, once you master the rapid pulmonary convulsions.

John Alejandro King, www.covertcomic.com, from 'My War On Terror!'

Edit#  ·  ---- Unrated  ·  submitted Mar '07

From the day we are born, we are all slowly dieing of life.

Nick Palmer

Edit#  ·  ---- Unrated  ·  submitted Mar '07

No matter what a man might claim to know, he will never know who will show up to his funeral.

Nick Palmer

Edit#  ·  ---- Unrated  ·  submitted Feb '07

I know itÂ’s just a silly superstition, but I never go out of the house without my lucky gun.

John Alejandro King, www.covertcomic.com, from 'Real Men Don't Get Published'

Edit#  ·  ---- Unrated  ·  submitted Feb '07

Have you ever been walking along, and suddenly the toe of your shoe catches on the ground and you almost trip and fall on your face?

No?

... Good, me neither (I was just checking).

John Alejandro King, www.covertcomic.com, from 'My War On Terror!'

Edit#  ·  ---- Unrated  ·  submitted Feb '07

Actually, here in the future, what everyone longs for is 15 minutes of total anonymity.

John Alejandro King, www.covertcomic.com, America's funniest intelligence officer!

Edit#  ·  ---- Unrated  ·  submitted Feb '07

* The quality of the flea is their quantity.

Leonid S. Sukhorukov, Quality and quantity

Edit#  ·  ---- Unrated  ·  submitted Feb '07

* Nowhere in Nature can one twitter so mellifluously as on the branches of power.

Leonid S. Sukhorukov, Politics

Edit#  ·  ---- Unrated  ·  submitted Feb '07

* For some religion cures the soul, to others it sickens the mind.

Leonid S. Sukhorukov, Religion

Edit#  ·  ---- Unrated  ·  submitted Feb '07

* Money is evil... and the less we have of it the more evil it becomes. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid S. Sukhorukov, Money

Edit#  ·  ---- Unrated  ·  submitted Feb '07

* Envy is immortal – much to the envy of the envious! Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid S. Sukhorukov, Envy

Edit#  ·  ---- Unrated  ·  submitted Feb '07

I assume God isn't constantly depressed at the suffering of those souls cast into hell for all eternity for denying Him. On the other hand, I assume God doesn't just forget about these people either.

... Probably God is sort of mildly bummed out all the time.

John Alejandro King, 'The Covert Comic', from 'My War On Terror!'

Edit#  ·  ---- Unrated  ·  submitted Feb '07

To live in your own toilet may be unsanitary, but you can't say it's inconvenient.

John Alejandro King, 'The Covert Comic', www.covertcomic.com

Edit#  ·  ---- Unrated  ·  submitted Feb '07

There is no Comedian but Allah, and you are His straight man.

John Alejandro King, 'The Covert Comic', www.covertcomic.com

Edit#  ·  ---- Unrated  ·  submitted Jan '07

"Life is an interesting place to Live."

Ken Scarborough

#  ·  ---- Unrated  ·  submitted Jan '07

We are all immortal; until we are not.

Ken Scarborough

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