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Groucho Marx
real name Julius Henry Marx; American humorist; b. 1890; d. 1977
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Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist
1–6 (6) · Submit an Aphorism
# · Unrated · submitted 1997 (updated 1999)
I didn't like the play. But I saw it under unfavorable circumstances — the curtains were up.
# · Unrated · submitted 1997
I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.
# · Unrated · submitted 1997
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
# · Good (one rating) · submitted 1997
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
# · Unrated · submitted 1997
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
# · Unrated · submitted 1997
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. And inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
1–6 (6) · Submit an Aphorism