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W. C. Fields

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Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist

1–6 (6) · Submit an Aphorism

# · Not So Good (149 ratings) · submitted 1999

Never give a sucker an even break and never smarten up a chump.

W. C. Fields, in Altruism and Cynicism

# · Not So Good (24 ratings) · submitted 1999

If at first you don't succeed, try, and try again. Then give up. There's no sense in being a damned fool about it.

W. C. Fields, in Success and Failure

# · Not So Good (14 ratings) · submitted 1997

'Twas a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.

W. C. Fields, in Vice and Virtue

# · Not So Good (21 ratings) · submitted 1997

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

W. C. Fields, in Wisdom and Ignorance

# · Not So Good (17 ratings) · submitted 1997

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

W. C. Fields, in Altruism and Cynicism

# · Not So Good (19 ratings) · submitted 1997

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

W. C. Fields, in Altruism and Cynicism

1–6 (6) · Submit an Aphorism